Why I am No Longer Fundamental, Part 1

I feel like I should explain Non-Fundamentalism, and how I got here. I've posted some things on my Facebook and talked to some people before who had the wrong idea of what I meant when I talked about my issues with Fundamentalism. It’s a long story, one which will take some time to tell, and so today I will simply tell the first part.

To start off, I feel like I should give a (hopefully) abbreviated version of my spiritual history, what I used to believe, and why I changed my views, practices, and beliefs to become the charming, Formerly Fundamental person that I am today.

I grew up in the Nazarene Church, the daughter of a woman who became a Christian around the time that I was born, and a man who though upright, moral, and Christian, was neither as devout as my mother nor an active part of our church lives. My mother, however, was very active, and had my older brother and I in church from my earliest memories. The three of us were heavily active in every program the Nazarene church had to offer. This included Bible Quizzing, Caravans, children’s church, and eventually youth group, which my mother lead when we were older.

All of this also spilled over into our personal lives. We listened to every Focus on the Family radio show that ever came on, Joyce Meyers, End Times Radio, and Christian Music. I was surrounded by Christian literature, as well. The Left Behind series, Chronicles of Narnia, and when I was older every Christian romance novel that came my way. My favorites were the ones about the Amish. I was also very restricted in what I was allowed to watch or read. The list is endless, and it’s hard for me to even remember all of it.

When I was 12 my family moved to Bible Belt Southeast Missouri and became a part of a small Nazarene Church in an extremely rural area. When I say that everyone knew everyone and was always in everyone else’s business, you cannot begin to imagine how far that statement can extend. When I say that messages I heard preached and taught were the most Evangelical and Fundamental messages I've heard in my life, there’s no way to convey what kind of impact those messages have on someone that young.

Through all of this, I developed a mentality of extreme exclusionism. I knew the Bible backwards and forwards. I knew the fundamental dogma better than I knew my Bible. I knew that homosexuality was evil, one sip of alcohol could lead to addiction and depravity, and that my female body was an instrument of evil, and that I must always keep everything covered up in order to not lead my Christian brothers into sin. I knew that the Earth was only 6000 years old, and that the Six Day Creation was a fact. I knew that sex sins were tricky and that even kissing could lead straight to sex without a person ever realizing how they got there. I made the True Love Waits commitment when I was about 10 or 11 and my favorite piece of jewelry was my purity ring. I knew that the Bible was literal even if you couldn't understand how, and that it was also entirely infallible. I could spout off Nazarene Doctrine without blinking an eye. As a Nazarene, I also believed that not only could you never ever sin after becoming Sanctified, but that this was every Christian’s highest calling in life.

I also knew that this was the only way to be a “Real” Christian.

If I met anyone, Christian or not, whose beliefs could not be checked off of the same checklist that I used, I immediately tried to convince them of how wrong they were, and turn them to my personal way of thinking.

This was the state of my life right up until I was around 23 years old, when the man who had been my husband for four years cheated on me, and I left him. Things didn't go so well for me after that, and from that point on, everything in my life would change little by little. 

Next week I will explain more on what beliefs changed, how much, and why. I have not thrown away all the beliefs I was raised with, though I also have not retained all  them. Some of them I now simply live out differently. I'm not sure how many parts this series will have, but I do hope that in some small way I will be able to reach some people on both sides of the fence and maybe help bring those who are Fundamental and those to are not into a better understanding of one another.